Ownership and Power

Israel took me by surprise. My husband and I celebrated my 10th year cancer free anniversary this year in Israel, and it was an incredible place to be for this profound time in our lives. Israel is the history of the world found in one small spot on the world map. One small piece of geography filled with so much emotion, so much history, and so much push and pull about who owns what and why.

Our guide, Nachum, was the best storyteller and facilitator of learning I have ever met. As we drove down a particular street in Tel Aviv, he pointed out that this street was the line that separated Palestinians from the Israeli's; each with houses facing the other with just a small street separating them. He pointed out that many houses had bullet holes in the stone facing - fresh ones - and many of the windows were closed down to a small opening to avoid the sniper fire that came through the windows. Conflict, fighting, war, hate were just a street apart.

In six days, Nachum brought together for us the 'now' of Israel with the past 3,000 years of history as two stories side by side. For the first time I could understand why the conflict doesn't want to go away. What we learned was that for thousands of years, each society that came to Israel, tried to wipe out the society before. They leveled the buildings down to the ground and build their edifices on top of the remaining rubble. Each took ownership of the land. Each marked their territory with their culture. Each lived there until the next great fight took place and another stronger power came in to conquer, enslave or exile the existing population.

Learning from History 

People in Israel have rebuilt as much of history as they can so that visitors from around the world can see what happened... experience what happened... relive what happened with the hope that we can open our minds to the forces that continue to bring us together and pull us apart.

  

In Israel, archeological sites are being rebuilt so visitors can step into a 'recreated' edifice and experience the space, as did those who lived there thousands of years ago. They chart the old and new with a dark thick line on the walls, where below is the actual remaining wall and above is recreated space, the allowing visitors to step into that room and its history as through it were now.

One such recreated space we visited was at Masada - King Herod's fortress, where 960 Jewish zealots made their last ditch stand against the Romans, and chose to all commit suicide rather than being slaughtered and having their wives and children taken into slavery by their enemies.

People are drawn to Israel. We want to experience the past in a safe way. We want to see it, and learn from it,

yet the learning seems to live at the top of our consciousness and not filter down inside where we are willing to make fundamental changes in how we work together, how we live together and how we thrive together.

  

Holding Reality In Our Hands

I was blown away by this... an architect devoted his whole life to recreating the Western Wall and the city of Jerusalem in a 'model' so people would be able to walk around history and see and feel the story of people over thousands of years living through growth and conflict.

As Nachum walked us around the model we could be back there and be here at the same time - starting to understand the mighty forces of humanity and the tensions of people with different beliefs struggling to live together.

In our last day of the trip, we visited a newly unearth archeological site. This very ancient city has been the focus of a 29-year old excavation, which began when a mud slide after a torrential rain opened up the ground and below the rows of fully-grown trees emerged remnants of a theater. The archeologists knew that if a theater was there, then the city was near by - and it was!

As the team of archeologists dug the site, they unearthed an incredible city; they found markets for selling wares, spas for daily public bathing and having 'massages,' and a section of city where prostitutes offered their talents daily to those who were interested. Nachum showed us that this spot was another example of 'many owners'. At one time this land had been 'built up and owned' by the Jews, then taken over by the Byzantines, then by the Greeks and then inhabited by the Romans followed by the Arabs. The story of ownership and power continued to emerge right in front of our eyes in this archeological excavation, and continues to re-emerge as we return to the present and read the newspapers and talk with our friends about the fate of Israel and the larger story of how 'WE' is being created and destroyed right in front of our eyes.

How do we Create WE today? What are the most important and fundamental principles that we need to consider and practice as we learn to activate the most human parts of our minds, hearts and brains?

Creating WE Social Forces™

Where do these tensions live inside of you? Where do they live inside of your culture? Where do they live inside of your relationships, and what are you doing to understand how to move with them not against them...

• Fairness - how do we work out what is fair for 'us'?  
• Ownership - what do we own, and what are our rules of engagement around ownership?
• Rejection - in what way might we be unnecessarily rejecting that which is different than us?
• Connection - in what ways can we foster connectivity and deeper understanding?
• Expression - how can we give each other space to speak our thoughts and express our voice?
• Status - how might status be getting in the way of creating 'power-with' others?

Trust at the Moment of Contact

In my new book on Trust (link to three sample chapters), I talk about the most important social forces that are hardwired into our DNA and drive our 'humanity.' Whether we were around three thousand years ago, or we are living today, these forces guide our interactions with each other. We are still struggling to figure it out, to work it through, and to find ways to emerge more whole and more humanized as a global community.

First Day, New Job, Now What?

People are often resistant to change because they think change means changing themselves. Many of us have a fear of change - but I think it's actually something deeper than fear of change. Under the surface, for many people change is really a fear of loss.  Our mind plays many tricks on us. Change = fear = risk=loss=loss of status. It's all hardwired. That is why I wrote The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose. Gregory diligently practiced the Ground Rules at the pond. By watching other lead geese, he believed strongly that having 'power-over others' was what leadership was all about.   Yet one day, the hunters came to the pond and started to shoot at all the geese. In a time of crisis, Gregory discovered all the Power Rules no long served him well.  While in the air, Gregory made a 'leadershift.' He turned to the other geese - trusting them to become leaders, and they did. They split their "V" into three and the hunters didn't catch one goose that day. Gregory called this 'power-with others'. He discovered his most important wisdom - sharing power releases the leadership instincts in others.   Power Rule #1: Power comes from how strongly you flap your wings... Power Rule #2:  Power comes from how loudly you honk... Power Rule #3:  Power comes from how much you honk... Power Rule #4:  Power comes from how well you strut... Power Rule #5:  Power comes from how fast and strong you are... Power Rule #6:  Power comes from your ability to peck... Power Rule #7:  Power comes from how well you keep other geese in line... Or So He Thought! For years I've been coaching and consulting to tough, smart leaders who are really comfortable using "honking, pecking, and strutting" leadership behaviors. They don't want to let go because these behaviors are tied into their positional power. They don't want people to think they are weak. As part of our work, leaders and I talk about what 'goose' behaviors represent and how they affect their ability to achieve their main business objectives. It's quite amazing what insights come out of this conversation.   Often leaders will realize that when they are using power-over behaviors, the impact is that employees become 'followers'; they obey without question, and do not take risks.  Instead of building high trust, organizations that are willing to experiment and trynew things, they end up with a compliant organization where fear of change is rampant - just the opposite of what they want to achieve. Once leaders see there is a direct connection between their "power-over" leadership style and the results they are getting from their employees, they are free to change. Within a short while, something miraculous happens; their team's resistance to change dissolves and productivity reins. This is a perfect example of how effective the Gregory model can be. From Power-Over to Power-With        Gregory offers a way to get anchored in a new type of leadership, which is 'moving from power-over to power-with'.  Following the Gregory Workshop I recommend a process of peer coaching that involves having leaders who have gone through a Gregory Session together, meet on a regular basis - every six weeks or two months - where each of them commits to doing experiments using the seven new leadership behaviors that they want to model. Leaders learn to share their experiences with each other and talk about the results that they're getting. This process creates a living organization that's really committed to a different type of leadership, and the stories the leaders share are crystal clear, real-life examples of what people are actually doing so they learn from each other about dramatically new and exciting ways to lead.

Gregory Goose Leadership Program  Listen to the interview from the Jim Blasingame Show here. To learn more about the program click here. If you are interested in buying the Gregory Goose books, click here.

42 Rules for Creating WE' Becomes Amazon Bestseller

42 Rules for Creating WE' Becomes Amazon Bestseller By Offering New Approaches to Difficult Conversations

On September 17th, "42 Rules for Creating WE" was one of the fastest-selling books on Amazon, having achieved sales that brought its rank to #1 in the Leadership, Management, Motivation, and Organizational Behavior categories, and the #2 fastest-selling book in any category on that day.

Why did this book strike such a cord? Read the press release...

Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose; and editor and contributor of 42 Rule for Creating WE, a newly published Amazon bestseller.

Contact: 212-307-4386

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Can I Trust You?

As long as we feel we are gaining, not losing, we play as WE. However, our fear is that someone will get more. The fear is always: I'll trust you and then you'll stick me in the back.

Even though most of us value being considered a partner, the ability to work together interdependently is one of our least-developed skills. This skill is so vital that, in its absence, good leaders turn bad, good executives become ineffective, and good colleagues turn into adversaries. The skill of opening up to others - and of creating the emotional space for others to open up to us - requires deep trust. Trust is the most precious of the golden threads. Without it, there can be no WE.

When we open up WE to include partners outside of our conventional thinking, we encompass stakeholders and allies beyond the traditional boundaries of the enterprise - including vendors, customers, and donors. We expand the way we work and how we generate value. After all these years, we are starting to see how shifting boundaries - throwing the net wider - is a way to achieve alliances in a new way. With the golden thread of trust, we can weave our lives together like a beautiful tapestry.

WE-centric relationships are built on trust. I trust you will not harm me, and you trust I will not harm you. When we have that level of trust we do no't feel the need to duck into protective behaviors. We automatically assume a mutual support, and we move forward from there.

When we experience doubt about the good intentions of others, for whatever reason, we need to recognize the importance of having the kind of conversations that bring us back to trust. Creating the space for open dialogues enables us to reclaim trust with others.

5 Vital Questions

There are 5 vital questions that, if not addressed on an explicit level, will be working 'behind the scenes' eroding trust at every corner.

• How do I protect myself?
• Who loves me, who hates me?
• Where do I belong, where do I and fit in?
• What do I need to learn to be successful?
• How do I create value with others?

As we interact with others, we are asking and answering these 5 Vital Questions with every interaction. Our human communication system with others is designed to send energy out and get an answer back. As we send out these questions in the form of direct questions or indirect messages to others, we calculate our 'coordinates with others' and navigate either with them or against them. When we are seeing to understand where we stand with others, we are listening, I-centrically. Once we get these questions answered we energetically shift into a "WE-centric" relationship and trust will emerges.

Co-creating a Book is Like Giving Birth!

The 5 Big Questions are key to the health of a relationship, team and organization. These fundamental questions are what propelled a team of us - 18 coaches, consultants, and practitioners at the Creating WE Institute - to do an experiment in co-creation and trust building. We decided to work on writing a book together!

When we started our co-creating conversations, we didn't know what each other was thinking about - we trusted we would find a way to build a conversational space for our best ideas to emerge - and we did.

We didn't know what we would do if we had conflicting ideas that would conflict, or too many ideas. We trusted we would find a way to work through it, and we did.

We didn't know if our ideas were strong enough of big enough, yet as we listened to each other's ideas, and became inspired by what others had to say - we did.



Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose; and edited and contributed to 42 Rule for Creating WE, a newly published Amazon bestseller.

Contact: 212-307-4386

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