Wednesday, May 14, 2008

WE-Centric Leaders - Leadership Derailers

We are experiencing unprecedented changes in the world. Businesses are more challenged than ever before, and it feels like there has been a sudden and profound interruption in business continuity. I call this The Edge.

At the edge-our moments of greatest challenge-we often feel like we are losing control and are unable to see a clear path to success. It's a crossroads we arrive at when we are faced with decisions too difficult to make, when our resources are few, and our old approaches no longer produce results that yield success. Our energy feels depleted, we discover pockets of insecurity, and we are afraid to let others in.

At the edge, we can turn away from others and try to handle the challenges from our own vantage point, or we can turn to others for help. Old-style leadership suggests that a leader should have the answers and direct and guide the organization to solutions. Old-style leaders expect solutions to come from the top of the organization and be given to the employees for implementation. New-style leadership says that a leader doesn't have all the answers, and therefore needs to learn how to involve the entire organization in successfully coming up with the strategies for success. I call this new inclusive approach "We-Centric" Leadership .


ASK YOURSELF - What Kind of Leader Am I?

  • When you don't know what to do do you become arrogant?
  • Do you always need to be the center of attention?
  • What does vulnerability look like to you?
  • When was the last time you were vulnerable and welcomed direction?
  • Do loved ones and co-workers tell you that you are stubborn and controlling?
  • When people criticize you, do you punish them for their honesty?
  • Do you really listen , or while you are talking do you metally prepare how you are going to defend yourself?
GETTING TO WE

   We-Centric Leaders come from diverse industries around the world. These wonderfully insightful executives realize that "we" is the most powerful ingredient for growing companies. They know how inclusive behaviors and attitudes can radically shift the power dynamics in a company, thereby positively influencing productivity and quality. We-Centric Leaders are tuned into what happens when people feel disconnected, rejected and alone. They understand that behaviors such as rebellion, resistance and conflict are often signs that the bonds of trust are broken among people and must be reconnected.


This new leadership is based on inclusivity, and this new breed of leader will no longer tolerate separateness and silos. They instinctively know that we do our best work when we feel connected, and thus they create ways for employees to interconnect and work synergistically. Organizations value and reward these leaders because they bring a new type of power and prosperity wherever they go. They create incredible positive changes in how work gets done, changes that shift energy in profound ways and draw out the talent and wisdom of their employees to create extraordinary business results. At the start of the 21st century, these new- style leaders are redefining the nature of organizations and are shifting the fabric of the workplace.

DON'T DERAIL YOUR TRAIN

As we rise up the corporate ladder, leaders are required to become more We-Centric. And as business challenges grow bigger and more complex, leaders are expected to set the tone for mutual success. We-Centric Leadership can be learned, and the key is to go beyond your own ego and live through practices of inclusivity.

1. Leaders who fail to build mutual relationships with others. Those who seem to manipulate others to serve their own ends create a backlash and lose both trust and respect.


Examples:

  • Leaders who exhort employees to work hard, and then take all the credit.
  • Leaders who promise promotions in order to get employees to work harder and conveniently forget the promise.
  • Leaders who are extremely directive and controlling, and act that way for their gain and benefit (self-importance) rather than for organizational purposes.

Sometimes, leaders become so incredibly focused on their own agendas and creating their own success that they do so at the expense of others. When it becomes clear to others that these leaders are out for their own self-interest, these leaders lose the support of the people who can help get them to their next leadership level, not to mention help them succeed.

2. Problems occur when leaders make themselves the center of attention rather than make the company the primary focus. When leaders are out solely to protect their own future, they fail to consider the organization's goals and objectives. After a while employees will see that they are not an organizational person but are out for themselves.

Examples:

  • Leaders who encourage employees to hide information from other departments because it makes their department look better.
  • Leaders who promote their own division's work to gain attention from the top brass, knowing it will make others look bad.
  • Leaders who are constantly acting or speaking in a self-serving way publicly.

3. Leaders fail when they do not manage their own bio-reactive behaviors. We all react to emotional triggers. That is part of what makes us human. But to succeed, one needs to learn how to transform reactive behavior into proactive behavior. Without control over our own reactions, we are carriers of potentially lethal negativity and reactivity.

Examples:

  • Leaders who react to conflict by avoiding it, rather than learning to deal with it properly.
  • Leaders who react to fear with aggression rather than by being assertive.
  • Leaders who react to power struggles by acquiescing rather than by direct confrontation.

Managing these three dynamics is the key to your success. Too often I am called in to coach senior executives who do not get along with others, are out to achieve their own agendas and are so reactive to others that they cause harm. By the time I arrive, such leaders have already created great havoc in their wake. If you learn to manage your own reactions, to put your ego behind you and to build healthy, open relationships with others, your ability to drive your organization to success will increase exponentially.

With these three principles in mind, your most important job is to establish a positive context for change by engaging employees, customers and your management team in an ongoing conversation to develop into the best company "we" can become in our industry.

We-Centric Leaders understand what they do to engage employees and what they do to disengage employees.

THE CHALLENGE OF CHANGE

Our tools and technologies as a global community are expanding exponentially, enabling us to dissolve physical boundaries and interconnect country to country, business to business, in exciting new ways. In the face of a technology explosion, we are still faced with the more important human challenge: to dissolve boundaries, build trust and access our powerful people resources.

This new breed of leaders is willing to look inside and learn what they are made of. They commit to exploring the dynamics of their own human nature, and are willing to address the impact they have on their organization's culture. In doing so, they learn what it takes to create environments that enable employees to be fully engaged and motivated, to challenge and be challenged, and to face the difficult competitive issues together.

This new breed of leaders understands human nature. They realize that people become reactive when they feel rejected and disconnected from the conversations about corporate strategy. They realize that when people feel out of the loop they project their anxiety onto others and create more fear in the workplace. They realize that when employees feel powerless they blame other people for what is missing in their lives. When employees are rejected, they reject back.

We-Centric Leaders understand what they do to engage employees, and what they do to disengage employees. They learn to gauge their responses based on the results they create. The result is nothing less than a profound impact on bottom-line, top-line and organic growth. More importantly, the impact of these leaders creates a cultural atmosphere which supports an ongoing commitment and enthusiasm to achieving the company's far-reaching goals.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:
Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Becoming a CEO

Typical Career Paths – Long and Short-Term Goals

Many people ask me what it takes to be a CEO. Some even want me to help them create a roadmap. The answer is not as simple as it seems. There are so many variables. In some cases, its dependent upon the aspirations someone has, and that may include things like: the size of the company, the industry, the scope and breadth of products and services, and the geographic reach – domestic or global. It’s hard to build a simple recipe for getting to CEO. If you work in small companies, you can get there because your father was the company owner and you are the next in line. As your aspirations grow, or the size of the companies you are working in grow, there are many bridges to get to a CEO position, and these include a mix of leadership challenges you need to have, as well as the networks and relationships you need to build.

If someone has a desire to be a CEO, they need to determine what area they want to play in, what size company, what products/services they are attracted to, and why they want to be a CEO. Running a company – being a CEO – is a job of extraordinary responsibility. People generally come from two tracks. The first is the marketing side where they have developed incredible skills at understand what the customer/market wants. The second is the financial side, understanding how to keep a company in the black – to be financially solvent.
Here are a few job titles that can give a person an edge toward becoming a CEO, but it’s not limited to these:

  • Financial: CFO; EVP Finance; Controller
  • Marketing/Sales: EVP Marketing; Brand Manager; Regional Manager of Sales
Build Leadership Skills in Multiple Functional Areas

Some companies want an executive to move across different functional areas, if they can, so they have both financial and marketing, yet it’s not always easy to do that because the interest/talents/opportunities are just not there. Nike does some creative career pathing. For example, when a person in marketing has been there a long time, they will career path them into operations or some other area outside of where they have developed a strong competence. They make them a manager/leader over others with strong competence in the functional area – so they are to the smartest in the expertise, but are the smartest in managing people with that talent. This helps build their “leadership” skills for managing complexity, size, scope, and range of business problems. Not all companies take this risk or see this as a way to develop leadership talent. Many more keep people siloed in their same functional area. Nike’s strategy builds leadership skills, rather than just building more competence in a functional area.

Key Leadership Characteristics

Many, many books are written about the characteristics of leadership, such as smart, wise, good judgment, focused, compassionate, supportive, visionary, courageous, inspiring, self-confident, determined, straight-forward, forward-looking, fair-minded, caring, ambitious. They go all over the place, and in the older style of leadership, they leaned more towards the ‘heroic’ leadership characteristics that made people look up at a leader in awe. Today the newer admired characteristics are compassion, humility and ability to develop and inspire others. The trend in admired leadership has moved from the more “I-centric” to the more “we-centric” characteristics. The one characteristic that continues to be important over the centuries is “honesty.” In all research studies candor, honesty and trust trumps all other characteristic for leadership. If you are honest and trustworthy, you can lack some areas of competence and back fill with a talented direct report and still make it to the top.

Executive Skill Set

Leaders must be able to manage/lead people, drive change, have emotional intelligence, and really understand organization behavior. They need to be exceptional communicators, and understand the need be masters of engagement. They need to be inclusive in their style, and appreciative of the contributions of others. They need to be able to quell fear and help people get excited about the future. They need to be able to help break down silos and create environments for sharing and collaboration. They need to be innovative and encourage risk taking. They need to like to develop talent and encourage contributions from others. They need to know how to celebrate successes, set milestones, and help the organization work together as a whole. We have defined these key areas of leadership skill, and we call it these skills, The DNA of Leadership.

Strengthening Skills and Characteristics

Many times leaders rise up in an organization because they have competence in the industry. What is often lacking is the people side of the leadership equation. In that context, leadership presence is profoundly important. In other words, there is a body of work around how leaders carry themselves. We know that leaders set the tone. Leaders who are self-aware, and understand how they impact others, is crucial to leadership success. People who aspire to CEO need to understand their own habits of mind, and what brings people down or up. Just being good technically is not enough – it’s how a leader interacts with others, influences them and brings out the potential in the organization and business that makes the difference between a good CEO and a great CEO.

Moving Up to CEO

Promotion to CEO often requires that someone run a smaller business or division or strategic teams. I’ve coached many leaders who start out running a department; they are given broader responsibility for larger numbers of people, ad with each promotion the size and scope of the challenges increase. Often people demonstrate CEO capability when they show they can handle very difficult and challenging dimensions of the business – for example when a business is under fire and they can rally the sales or marketing teams to discover new and innovative ways to be successful again. These are the badges of courage, or success strategies that are looked for by the board that demonstrate the CEO capability. During interviews for CEO positions, there are two key questions that are asked. One is about “your greatest success” and the other is about “your greatest failures” and how you handled them. Moving up to CEO, it’s okay to have failures – and what’s more important is how you transform failures in learning lessons for growth.

Marketing for a CEO Position

If CEO is the career path a person wants most, there is a need to take a long-view and prepare starting early. If the hope is to find a CEO position in a different company than where a person is now the key to success is networking with HR Search Firms and other senior people in the industry you are seeking to work with. If the goal is to be considered for the CEO position within your current company, the key is to work with your HR Team and boss to let them know that you want to understand the internal path to reach your goal. For example, a woman executive at a pharmaceutical company who wanted to have a chance to move into the C-suite met with HR, and they mutually decided she needed to have a position in Sales. She was currently in Marketing, and so she took a lateral position to gain the learning from sales and marketing. While for this move it was lateral, not vertical, it positioned her for the next big vertical step up. Regardless of whether your next step is inside your company or outside to a new company, the key is to build a succession plan for yourself. If you can do this with help either inside or out, you will be getting additional help from others in supporting your next step.

Marketing/Networking for an External CEO Position

Currently, I have coaching clients who have asked me – confidentially – if I knew of other jobs and positions that would challenge them and also help them get closer to their C-suite career goals. Networking, both openly and confidentially is important to open up possibilities. Some people have luck contacting Search Firms and asking if they would be interested in taking their resumes, and also doing an interview. Search firms are always looking for fresh new faces to add to their database. Sometimes, becoming a speaker gets people in front of people who may just be looking. Creating Networking is the best solution.

Laying the Groundwork for a Future CEO Position

Many organizations use the term ‘high potential.” This often designates someone on the fast track to higher roles in a company. High potential are often chosen to lead special projects and those who do are often watched as candidates for promotion. So if a leader had it in his mind to be a CEO, he/she should talk with people inside the company about how to be selected for special initiatives, or better yet, should identify special initiatives and bring them to the attention of someone who can make the decision.

Advice for the Aspiring CEO

Being a CEO has sex appeal. CEOs have power, and sometimes people want to be CEOs because they seek the power and influence. It’s important for people to soul search and ask themselves “why I want to be a CEO.” If you have the talent to lead large organizations and if you have ideas for products, services to bring to market, then CEO is a wonderful career path. Understanding one’s own motivations is important in the process.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

Contact: 212-307-4386
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Fields of Dreams…. Aspirational Journey

Irving Fields is 92 years old. Six nights a week he plays piano at Nino’s a restaurant on 58th Street in NYC, right behind our apartment.

People come from all over to listen to him play – even Tony Bennett and other singers who he has played for over the years. Last year Irving wrote a song for the Bush’s dog and they invited him to the White House to play it.

At Ninos, Irving walks around to tables and asks people what they want him to play. He writes down all the songs and then he links them all together into a medley; one song folds into the other. He composes as he goes. He lives for music and loves his music. He has a passion for his music and he shares it wherever he goes. Irving is a Field of Dreams – who never stops dreaming.

When he was 91, Irving has his hip replaced. In the hospital his nurse told him he needed to be careful walking up and down stairs so she made him repeat the phrase, “up-left, down-right” over and over and over again. Every day she came in to feed him, or give him medicine, she would have him repeat, “up-left, down-right.” She even woke him up at 3 in the morning to repeat the coaching to ensure he got it. Irving dreamt about these words - “up-left, down-right” - “up-left, down-right.”

At first Irving was really angry that she thought he would forget. “Goodness gracious,” he would say to himself, “I’m only 92. Of course I’ll remember what to do!”

Then, in an Irving-sort-of-way, he did something wonderful and unexpected. Irving started dreaming about “up-left, down-right.” One morning he awoke and he had turned the “up-left, down-right” phrase into a song, which he then choreographed and before leaving the hospital sang to every one of the patients and nursing staff. He left with a standing ovation.

Irving couldn’t get the song out of his head. He kept singing it to everyone and always got a chuckle. It was a catchy tune, and once you heard it, it had ‘sticky power.’

When he got home from the hospital, one of his protégés called to see how he was doing after his operation. Irving shared the story about “up-left, down-right” and the protégé said to him, “you should start a Jingle Company and write these songs for people to buy.” His protégé further advised Irving to start a company, and advertise his services on the web. Irving didn’t know about the web, all he knew was his music. He didn’t even have a computer.

His protégé told him not to worry. He said to Irving, “I’ll come down and video tape you singing your song, and we can post it on YouTube so everyone could see how great your song is. Irving didn’t know what YouTube was either.

So the protégé came down to NYC from Canada where he was living, and he taped Irving singing. However Irving didn’t sing “up-left, down-right.” When he learned about what You Tube was, he got so excited; he transformed the original song “up-left, down-right” into a song which he called YouTube.com.

So if you go to YouTube and type in the name Irving Fields, you will see Irving singing YouTube.com. Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxkuYeERt1c

As of this week, Irving’s YouTube jingle has had over 719,000 hits. He now has a Jingle site under construction, and he comes up to our apartment to see himself on the internet and count the number of visitors.

Irving Field is our hero. He practices music 4 hours a day and then plays for hundreds of people at night. His positive outlook on life is infectious. At the restaurant, he goes over to tables, introduces himself and asks people what they want to hear, then plays it flawlessly. Even though his fingers appear arthritic, the music comes out with passion and gusto. If you judged him by the outside, you might think he was too old to perform the way he does or too frail to play for hours at a time without stopping.

Irving continues to teach me lessons every time I see him. I am reminded that we can all get caught up in labels, and judge others unfairly. We can think we know what people are capable of and think of them smaller than who they are or could be. Irving has taught me to let go of labels and focus on dreams .

Irving lives in a state of continual youth. He is alive, and growing. He feels young and acts young; he makes people feel good to be around him. He turns negativity into positivity. Most of all, Irving Field builds a Field of Dreams every day, and pulls others in with him. When you are around him, you just want more of him.

Research: We spend 75% of the time in an aspirational state. When we are sleeping we are in a dream state. When we are awake we think about how we want each day to unfold – and hidden inside of those thoughts are our aspirations for the future. Everyone has aspirations and dreams that need to emerge, and when they do we feel alive, and happy and passionate about life. What are you doing to make sure you keep your dreams alive?

Exercise: Field of Dreams

Think about your state of mind. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?
How many times have you found that your passion has left you? How often do you feel that ‘a job is just a job’ and it’s not fun anymore. How often do you say ‘I work to pay the bills’?

What is your Field of Dreams?

Individual: Write up a list of aspirations you have. Some people find it’s easier to call them goals because goals feel more tangible. Write them up and post them on the wall. Check them over at the end of the week and/or the month and see what steps you are taking to turn your dreams into reality.

Organizational: Run an Aspiration Day every month. Ask people to get together and share their aspirations and see how the feel of your workplace will change!

To aspire means to “breathe life into something” and when we aspire together, dreams are borne.

What aspirations in your life are just waiting for a chance to emerge?

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

Contact: 212-307-4386
READ OUR NEWSLETTERS

Effective Leadership Skills

Nothing in life is neutral. Organizations are based on relationships, and most relationships involve positional power.Think about your workplace. Think about your team. What Vital Conversations can you introduce to create a stronger WE-centric workplace? The following are a list of topics that represent the most powerful dynamics at play in a team seeking to work together towards a common goal. When teams learn to have conversations about these vital dynamics, and learn to build rules of engagement to handle them, they are on their way to becoming a powerful team able to tackle every challenge interdependently.

Let’s explore these potential navigational obstacles – sometimes they are “perceived obstacles” and sometimes they are “real.” As you read, imagine how you might introduce these topics for discussion into your next meeting, project or team engagement. Having conversations openly about how we perceive our challenges, enables us to surface our fears and deal with them head on: these are called Vial Conversations.

  1. Power
  2. Attachment to being right
  3. Old grooves
  4. Fear
  5. Groupthink

PowerImage

Nothing in life is neutral. Organizations are based on relationships, and most relationships involve positional power. Most decision-making involves power and what we often fear most is that someone will use their power in abusive ways. We don’t open up when we feel that we will encounter and engage with other powerful people who have their own self-interest in mind. In environments where acquisitions and mergers are commonplace, or restructuring and re-engineering are day-to-day activities, we often revert to our self-protective behaviors to ensure that in the end we will hold a position of value. Any shift in relationships offers the possibility that someone might be demoted or even fired. It makes sense. Too often changes and reorganizations begin with a “housecleaning.” It’s no wonder when change is afoot that colleagues are concerned about losing rank and power.

Question: What Vital Conversations can you encourage colleagues to have with you to reduce the threat of positional power and create an openness in your communication and opportunities for learnng, growth, and nourishment?

Attachment to Being Right

Under stress, and in the face of dramatic business challenges, we want to have answers; we want to be right about what we believe. We want a feeling of safety and security. We want to live in our Comfort Zones. Yet, this is rarely possible. When we are attached to being right, we defend our point of view. We are not open to learning. We are persuading. We are influencing with a push energy, and most often colleagues will push back. Sometimes our desire to be right accelerates to such a level that we want to be right at all cost, even if it means losing a relationship. Being right provides false confidence in the face of complexity and ambiguity. When we are “all knowing,” we feel superior over others. Sometimes, in the spirit of being right, we explicitly prove others wrong.

Question: What Vital Conversations can you encouarge colleagues to have with you to reduce the negative impact of “righteousness” and the need to be right? How will this positively impact your relationships with others, build trust and openness, and create opportunites for learning, growth, and nourishment?

Old Grooves

When we undergo major changes in our strategies, our direction, and our ability to address marketplace competition, our brain reverts to a default setting. That means that we fall back into old familiar habits and behavior patterns. We are not open to change; we are not open to thinking about new strategies. We close down and fall into the old, worn grooves that feel good—where comfort in the known feels more desirable than facing the challenges of the unknown. When we face rapid change and marketplace shifts, our fear of not having the answers causes unsettling feelings. Human beings have trouble staying open to leaning new things. We want quick answers, and we want closure. Staying open pushes us out of our Comfort Zones. Old grooves are comforting. However, these well-worn, habitual practices, while consistent with the past, are often not right for the future. Old ways of approaching new challenges can undermine success in new ventures.

Question: What Vital Conversations can you encourage colleagues to have with you to reduce the negative impact of old grooves, growth, and nourishment?

Fear

Fear causes us to default to our self-protective behaviors. It is not reality that triggers this response, but the “feared implications” of an imagined unfriendly future reality. Feared implications are the often hidden concerns that we all have about how any change in the organization might negatively impact us. They are hidden because they are implications we are generally afraid to discuss. Example: “If they sell our division, I’ll lose my job.” Or, “If I don’t make the cut, I’ll be demoted.”

Sometimes, these are issues we are not comfortable sharing with others, such as feared implications about the motivations and behavior of our boss: “My boss is a jerk. He’s so insensitive. He’s arrogant and doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” In reality, once we learn how to create safe environments in which we can openly share these fears and concerns, we can do something about them. Discussing them openly is the key to change!

There are other types of protective behaviors that hold us back:

- Fear of giving up control
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- Fear of the future
- Fear that nothing will really change

Question: What Vital Conversations can you encourage colleagues to have with you to turn fears into possibilities and create opportunities for learning, growth, and nourishment?

 Groupthink

While research suggests that team decisions are formulated on better judgments than those made by individuals, this is not always the case. When Groupthink is at work, the group may limit its wisdom and make misguided, wrong decisions. It is a process for gaining consensus at all cost. While Groupthink may sound like it’s a positive process for getting everyone onboard, it really is not. It’s actually a covert process for, in some cases, strongly intimidating those with different opinions to cave in and agree with the majority. On the surface, Groupthink appeals to our notions of WE-centricity; however, it is a different animal altogether—it is I-centricity disguised as a WE!

Groupthink has a metalanguage, or a hidden line of communication among the team, that suggests “you better go along with what the top dog, the boss, or the company wants” or you will be rejected from the group. Groupthink sets the norm of compliance in place and limits innovative thinking, pushback, and challenging conversations.

Groupthink also forces convergent thinking, which limits exploration, closes down options, and hides inconsistent data from the group’s review. Since groups often seek consensus, those individuals with differing points of view often feel like they need to abandon their divergent ideas for fear they will be rejected by their peers. And because such rejection can go beyond the ideas themselves to personal rejection, we often don’t risk opening up. Sometimes good ideas are squelched well before the important gems surface.

Groupthink screens out some of the most important data that could prompt a new course of action. When pressured by time, judgmental postures, and a few powerful talkers, the group literally stops thinking together and adopts a singular course. By eliminating the potential conflict, the group might also eliminate the higher truth.

Groupthink forces out novel contributions, conflicting ideas, and unique participation, often at great expense of a forced decision. It causes premature closure and convergent thinking, and it can have a negative impact on the quality of decisions. Handled properly, however, a divergent group process can help a team keep minds open long enough to spark breakthroughs in thinking. This is the challenge—and the opportunity—in group decision-making.

Question: What Vital Conversations can you encouarge colleagues to have with you to reduce the negative impact of Groupthink and create opportunities for opening up to learning, growth, and nourishment?

How Fear Closes Down Organizational Space

In the face of group pressure, telling the truth, speaking up, and holding a different point of view takes courage. Encouraging positive pushback and courageous vital conversations enables colleagues to break the Code of Silence, mitigates against fear, and creates a platform for building team success.

WE-aving It All Together

When given a choice, most of us would prefer to create positive change rather than inhibit it. At the same time, our instinct to protect our territory and be fearful of the enemy are triggered when potential changes are contemplated. The natural fear of the negative impact of change (i.e., “I may lose my job”) often triggers fear and the perception that “something is being done to me that I won’t like.” The unintended consequences of these fears are a cycle of behavioral posturing that turns into resistance to change. Why? Because these dynamics create power-over rather than power-with relationships.

The healthiest state of being is when we feel vital. Vital Conversations are power-with conversations where both parties agree to face their biggest challenges head on, agree to be open to influence, and agree to work the difficult issues without letting fear erode their relationship. It’s easier to say that it’s someone else’s fault than it is to work through the dynamics and have the kind of discussions to get to the heart of a problem. In many companies that are experiencing growth and cultural challenges, the essence of the problem stems from fear of speaking up in the face of authority—the fear of opening up and getting pushback. Vital Conversations enable us to create safe spaces for greatness to emerge.

In many cases, people are afraid to push back in the face of five powerful dynamics in the culture. When you make these dynamics visible, you help remove the stigma of pushback and enable people to open up and take risks with one another that release positive energy into the environment.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

Contact: 212-307-4386
READ OUR NEWSLETTERS

How Does One Become a WE-centric Leader?

Creating the space for open and nonjudgmental conversions is a WE-centric skill. As we have conversations and listen, we are able to sort out what affects our personal future and what does not.

The amygdala in our brain senses threats and tries to prevent them from harming us. It senses where we are in the pecking order, who is bigger, who is more powerful, and who is friend or foe. This kind of subconscious listening is fundamentally I-centric by nature.

Listening I-centrically causes us to be apprehensive in our conversations with  others and cautious about their intentions and motivations. Because most of us fear confrontation, and because one of our least-developed skills is the ability to confront another person and have a difficult conversation, we reactively take on the posture of being an enemy ourselves when we sense that we are facing an enemy.

Even thinking of the word confrontation causes our blood to boil, or our fears to rise. The word is fraught with meanings that keep us at a distance from others. The dictionary defines it as “to stand over or against in a role of adversary or enemy.” While the word also means “to meet or to face someone; to encounter another person,” we often project onto the word all of the bad experiences we have had when we face others. Over time the word itself has become tinged with fear and apprehension.

When we think of “confrontation” or of having a “difficult conversation,” it takes most of us to the edge of our Comfort Zone and we will do everything imaginable to avoid it.

Having difficult conversations scares most people into thinking they will lose a friendship, and so we avoid confronting the truth. When we feel frustrated or angry with someone who has stood in the way of our success or undermined us and caused us to lose face—at least from our point of view—we get so upset that we just can’t find the words to express ourselves. We end up angry and express our most reptilian behaviors. Worse than that, we hold it all inside until we boil up and over with frustration and then we blast that person.

Confronting others honestly requires we share mutually in building our relationship, with both parties feeling the power of the exchange; these are power-with relationships. When we feel others want to own us or take our power away —a power-over relationship—we fear harm and cannot open up with honesty. If we think of our conversations as a power-over experience, it’s impossible to be comfortable confronting others honestly.

Additionally, when confronting another person brings up potentially volatile emotions, we move with caution and keep our real feelings close to our chest. In the most extreme cases, when we are faced with situations that stir up highly charged emotional content, most of the tension and drama is actually taking place in our own minds. This is our “story” and how we have put words to the drama of our experience. Much of our frustration is coming from the words we use to tell this story to ourselves and to others.

Yet behind the scenes is the reality of the challenge: How do we communicate with each other when we feel we are being excluded? How do we deal with others in a way that builds relationships rather than erodes them? How do we masterfully keep ourselves in a state of openness, with our assumptions and inferences in check? Susan, President of an International Design Firm, faced the challenge and discovered how to open the space for Creating WE—even though she faced some extremely powerful obstacles.

Designing the Future From the Inside Out

Susan was a senior executive. She climbed the ladder of success early in her career in retailing, and with each new career move, had the opportunity of being president of increasingly larger and more visible design manufacturing firms with well-known brands. Sharp and quick-witted, she was extremely candid. Her intuitive merchandising talent plus her leadership capabilities were both her strengths and her weaknesses. At times, these talents gave her more power and influence; at times, they rubbed people the wrong way. Because she was not fearful of authority, she was good at pushing back against resistance and achieving results.

She was hired as CEO of a medium-sized retail manufacturing company known for its handbags and accessories. The company decided to radically expand its strategy from 100% leather goods to 70% design-oriented accessories, which meant a dramatic change in everything from how product was sourced and made, to how it was sold into retailers. Few companies change their product profile or brand so dramatically – yet this was her carter – and her goal was to win.

Knowing this industry inside and out, and with previous successes, Susan was well equipped to become the leader of this company. Within the first three weeks, however, having completed her internal due diligence of the culture’s readiness to change, she realized that the organization she was about to lead in a new direction was mired in the past, caught up in groupthink, fearful of change, attached to old ways of working. Whenever she communicated with the organization about the necessary changes that lay ahead, they confronted her with all the reasons they felt change was impossible.

She was so frustrated. Knowing she had to deliver, she began to rant and rave at every meeting, at times even insulting people – trying to get them to “wake up” and “get on board” with the challenges. Within 3 weeks fear invaded the hallways. People were afraid to attend meetings for fear they would be singled out and yelled at for not producing.

When she got no results, she considered firing everyone, yet give her turn around timeframe it would have been impossible to find a team to replace them.

Susan had exhausted all her power-over strategies with no success, so she turned to her power-with approaches. She realized that having Vital Conversations was her only strategy for success.

Susan was relentless. She set up critical strategy sessions for her team to discuss key customer accounts and what they needed so they could get on board with the new system. She created clear-cut leadership challenges for her teams to work on and provided them with forums to discuss how to get customers excited. But first, she talked about “conversations” and how to work together as a team to create breakthroughs.

It was a new experience for her team. At first it was uncomfortable to talk about “talking.” Yet once they got over the feelings of awkwardness, a new feeling of trust emerged in the team. By providing the environment for open, honest, candid and at times difficult conversations, Susan reduced the fear that was standing I the way of their success. Within 5 months, the business was on its way to meeting its goals. By the end of the year, while competitors businesses were down, Susan’s company was up an astounding 58%.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

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The Golden Threads of Trust

A decade ago, power, control, and authority were considered acceptable behaviors. Today, we measure ourselves against a new yardstick of leadership success. It is interdependence that counts.

This article focuses on how to shift a workplace from fear-based power-over environments (I-centric), to aspirational-based power-with environments (We-centric). When leaders understand the condition necessary for Creating We, they are able to “be the change they want to see in the world.”

It All Starts With You

As a leader who wants to make a difference in your organization, you hold the key. It all starts with you. You influence the power dynamics in your organization. When you create a sense of community and inclusion, colleagues feel they are accepted and valued and they will strive to live up to that higher level of performance. When you broadcast, even unconsciously, that you are unhappy with or, worse, unaware of the value colleagues bring, they feel the lack of appreciation and they will underperform.

Once you become mindful of the difference and can consciously shift your  orientation as a leader, your organization will explode with productivity. This deep level of awareness provides you the power to engage your organization positively and proactively in the process of becoming extraordinary.

You can do this by becoming conscious of how masterfully you use inclusive language to pull people toward you rather than push them away; inspire others to greater heights, and fuel everyone’s Leadership Journey. You have the ability—by being mindful of how your conversations impacts others—to transform relationships, teams, and organizations – from power-over to power-with; from positional power into mutual power, fear into opportunity, and territorial energy into positive, vital energy. When this happens, you also change the mindset of the company from powerless to powerful—and incredibly, progress begins.

The ability to work together interdependently is one of our least-developed skills. This is so vital that, in its absence, good leaders turn bad, good executives become ineffective, and good colleagues turn into adversaries. The skill of opening up to others—and of creating the emotional space for others to open up—requires deep trust. Trust is the most precious of the golden threads. Without it, there can be no WE. With the golden thread of trust, we can weave our lives together like a beautiful tapestry.

WE-centric relationships are built on trust. I trust you will not harm me and you trust I will not harm you. When we have that level of trust we don’t feel the need to duck into protective behaviors. We automatically assume a mutual support and we move forward from there.

When we experience doubt about the good intentions of others, for whatever reason, we need to recognize the importance of having the kind of conversations that bring us back to trust. Creating the space for open dialogue enables us to reclaim trust with others.

Building Trust Takes Commitment

When we get married, we establish a relationship based on mutual love and appreciation, and we hope for unconditional love every day. While we may aspire to unconditional acceptance and respect at work, we find that these relationships are often temporal. And there are many more of them to manage. Because of the nature of work and business, relationships take effort to sustain, and establishing positive, growing relationships takes a lot of back-and-forth checking, updating, and clarifying. All of these are necessary to create a sense of community and collaboration. Such an environment is feedback-rich.

Our ability to communicate openly with candor and caring, determines the quality of the connectivity between us as individuals, teams, or larger organizational units. While we don’t always talk about it, we feel it. Knowing where we stand is vital to our success, and when we feel we are on the outs, it negatively impacts our performance. We start acting strangely—we protect, we hide, we defend—all because we feel we are being judged or rejected.

Too often, we see management and employees as separate. In reality, both are part of a larger system of colleagues working together to create positive business results. The challenge for you as a leader and as a colleague is to understand how to create “mutual trust” through the way you communicate with colleagues every day.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

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Imagine That You Are a New Leader

How we make others feel about our leadership is now a critical measure of our success or failure.

Imagine you just joined a new company in a new position, and you have been given the responsibility for achieving success. Your predecessor was unable to pull it off, so you have some extra pressure to deliver results. Imagine you accept this responsibility and start your job tomorrow.

While holding that thought, imagine the following situation, which I’ll call Scenario 1. As you do your due diligence and make your assessment of the situation, you uncover concerns that you didn’t see before. The talent seems to be light for the task ahead. You sense that the resource base is also light, and you realize that the job is bigger than you thought.

The business problems also seem bigger and you can’t get your arms around them. You are new and believe you are supposed to be in charge of the situation. You decide not to share your fears and worries out of concern that others will think you are not capable of being a leader or are unable to handle the challenge. How would that decision impact the future success of the business?

As an alternative, let’s look at Scenario 2. You come aboard, do your due diligence, and find problems are more difficult than you originally anticipated. You immediately bring your direct reports into your assessment and, with open and honest communication, you create an engagement process to build positive energy and focus. You include others in discovering new and exciting ways for building the business. In Scenario 2 you are more open and transparent with colleagues, you express your desire to create sustainable partnerships, and you are willing to coach and be coached to help yourself and others grow.

Leadership Choices

Whether you are a man or a woman, old or young, seasoned or new, you have leadership choices about how you want to engage with your organization from the moment you step into your new role.

In Scenario 1, you choose to hold your fears inside, but by doing that you broadcast to your colleagues that you are unapproachable. As a result, your concerns magnify and your fears amplify until they appear from the inside out as insurmountable. Without realizing it, you send out signals of secrecy, which cause other people to make up stories about what is going on inside your head. By not sharing what’s on your mind, you set yourself apart from others—distancing yourself from the very colleagues you need to work with to overcome challenges that face everyone.

In Scenario 2, on the other hand, you know how to face your challenges by including others rather than pushing them away. You reflect on the challenges deeply and think about how to create the context for bringing them onboard with the challenges ahead.

Who Are You?

What kind of leader are you? How will you approach the job of moving your business forward? Will you be open or closed? Will you blame others for not having the talent you need, or will you engage others in finding ways for everyone to raise the bar and succeed?

What Kind of Leader Are You?

  • Power-over Leadership or Power-with Leadership
  • Exclusive or Inclusive
  • Being in control or Developing accountability
  • Criticizing and judging others or Appreciating others
  • Punishing risk-taking or Encouraging risk-taking
  • Instilling fear or Instilling hope
  • Silo mentality or Encouraging sharing
  • Dictating or Developing

Do you know who you are? Most of us know ourselves only from the inside out. We know how we want to be perceived and that we want to be acknowledged as a leader. We rarely see our dark side; we most often focus on our bright side. We know ourselves in terms of the values and beliefs we stand for—again, from the inside out.

Executive coaching has taught us that what is missing for many leaders is the view from the outside in—how we influence others and how they perceive us relative to the actions we take every day. Since feelings have been considered taboo for so long in the business world, we have pretended they do not exist. Yet, among the new leaders, feelings make a difference—a big difference. In fact, how we make others feel about our leadership is now a critical measure of our success or failure.

 Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books:

Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership; and the DVD and Workshop titled The Leadership Secret of Gregory Goose

Contact: 212-307-4386
READ OUR NEWSLETTERS